Cigars for the Recession: Reposado 96

Salamon Habano, 7.1" x 58 ring gauge, $2.70
This cigar was another winning from C-Bid (the devil's own cigar site!!!). I paid $2.70 per stick for a 10-pack, but if you buy a box of 40 from Cigars International, you can get them for $2.50. There is not much info available on these and it does not look like anyone but CI sells them, so all I can say is they are made in Nicaragua form Cuban-seed tobacco and this one features a Habano wrapper.

There is no band but it is a pretty nice-looking cigar. Construction is similar to the Castle Hall of the same size except all the tobacco pieces match in color on this one. There are a few large veins and the body is a little lumpy but overall...not bad. The aroma is hay and tobacco, neither of which is very strong. There is just a little oiliness to the touch.

During the first third there is a considerable amount of spice and pepper. Otherwise the flavors are earthy and leathery with hints of coffee. The draw is excellent and the construction seems very good so far, better than some sticks at more than double the price (which, at this price, means most of the sticks on the market!). The spiciness died down after an inch or so, allowing the earthy/leathery flavors to dominate.

The rest of the stick progressed much the same--leathery and earthy with occasional notes of spice, pepper, or coffee. This was a good, middle-of-the-road, bargain cigar. Well worth the price to use for filling up your humidor or offering to people that show up to a herf with nothing to smoke. Worth your time if you can't afford to smoke Padron 1926s and Opus Xs every day!!!

Grade: B+

Friday Funnies: Super Dave Osbourne

Clunker Healthcare

I've often asked people when they praise the idea of government-run health care if they really want the same unhappy, snarking bureaucrats who populate the DMV and various other government offices running healthcare. The obvious answer is "No." Seriously, when was the last time you had a thoroughly pleasant experience at the DMV?

So, the government decided that in order to pull old cars off the road, reduce those mysterious greenhouse gases that seem to be floating around all the windbags in D.C., and to stimulate auto sales, they would pass the ridiculous "Cash For Clunkers" program. Less than a week into the program, turns out...they out of cash! Seriously, the fools who thought up this things have been mentally and morally bankrupt for years, but they are actually out of cash only 6 days into the program and it has been suspended at this point. New York City auto salesman, Rob Bojaryn said it best:

If they can't administer a program like this, I'd be a little concerned about my health insurance.

The federal government shows its ineptitude yet again in predicting the financial cost of a foolish, social-engineering program, but there will still be people who think the government should run health care.

Cigar Review: Perdomo 2, Limited Edition 2008, Cameroon (Red Label)

Epicure, 5.5" x 54 ring gauge, $6.25
On Tuesday, I reviewed the Yellow Label (Maduro) version of this cigar. The filler and binder of this version is reportedly identical to that one (all Nicaraguan), but this cigar features a Cameroon wrapper.

The wrapper was a nicely-mottled light to medium brown with a few large veins visible. There was also a little toothiness to the appearance. The body of the stick was, again, barnyard, although only faintly, and the foot featured the same cocoa & coffee notes as the maduro.

The prelight draw was easy and has a touch of spice along with some flavor best described as tea. The initial light produced a lot of smoke and there is a definite bready quality to the taste as well as the tea (hot or iced...your preference). During the first third, the sweet Cameroon wrapper was very evident--the flavors of tea and brea were enhanced by it, in fact. There was little to none of the black pepper evident on the maduro version of this stick, even in the retrohale.

As the second third starts, the flavor changed to more of a roasted nuts quality. There was still some sweetness from the wrapper, but its influence seemed to be diminishing a bit, or at least changing in relation to what was burning in the filler. It continued much the same through the second third.

As the last third began I did get a big of a burn problem, but it was easily corrected and it was, in fact, the only construction issue with this stick. The draw was uniformly great the the burn line was otherwise nearly perfect. This was a really good cigar, but the flavors were just not as good or as complex as what I experienced in the maduro expression. It is significantly milder than that stick and would be a better lunch-time cigar or one for a smoker trying to step up from mild or flavored smokes.

Body: 5/10
Strength: 4/10
Complexity: 6/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1.5/2
Flavor: 3.5/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 8/10

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...the next governor of the great state of California...

Album Review: Elvis Costello

Secret, Profane & Sugarcane
Where do you start with a new album from a brilliant artist like Elvis Costello? I guess the best place is by defining the genre he has chosen to explore--and that itself brings up a discussion. One of the things I have always loved about Costello is what I call his "musical curiosity." He started out as punk/new wave with My Aim Is True and This Year's Model but quickly moved on to pop/rock with Blood & Chocolate and Imperial Bedroom. He had stops in '50s music with Get Happy! and Kojak Variety, along with classical (The Juliet Letters with the Brodsky Quartet), classic lounge pop (Painted From Memory with Burt Bacharach), jazz (The River in Reverse with Allen Toussaint) and adult contemporary (North). He has long been fascinated with country music and even put out what he billed as a country album in the early '80s (Almost Blue) and a what amounted to a celebration of American music style in the late '80s (King of America).

So what does EC have for us this time? A much more successful attempt at country music, this time produced by the man who led his very successful Americana-tinged album, T-Bone Burnett. Secret, Profane & Sugarcane is about as country as you can get musically. EC's voice is not the perfect country instrument, but it is more than adequate most of the time. The album features such luminaries as Dennis Crouch on bass, Stuart Duncan on fiddle, Jerry Douglas on dobro, and Mike Compton on mandolin. Two of the songs, "Complicated Shadows" and "Hidden Shame," are older songs that Costello wrote for Johnny Cash to sing (he did record "Hidden Shame" in 1986), "I Felt the Chill Before the Winter Came" was co-written with Loretta Lynn, "The Crooked Line" features Emmylou Harris on harmony vocals, and "Changing Partners" is a classic song made famous by Patti Page and, later, Bing Crosby. To put it simply, Elvis Costello has his country credentials well in order for this album. But how's the music?

This album features some of the most upbeat, fun arrangements that Costello has ever put to record, even when the subject matter cannot be considered happy. "Complicated Shadows" has a faster beat than his original recording (mid-'90s on All This Useless Beauty) and benefits from it. "Sulphur to Sugarcane" is a "girl in every town" boasting song that is a huge amount of fun and the centerpiece of the album. The slower songs are mostly appealing, too, generally not sinking into a dirge-like tempo. "Down Among the Wines & Spirits" is a great country song about someone drowning their sorrows after losing love. "My All Time Doll" talks of a love that is being lost and how it is tearing up the narrator.

The overall feel of this album is more of "Americana" like King of America rather than pure country like Almost Blue. I think that owes more to Elvis Costello's voice than anything else though--he just doesn't sound country, but that is not really his fault. The result is an album that mixed elements of country, bluegrass, mountain music, and folk. I do not remember a time when I have ever felt as uplifted by an EC album. This is good music and a brave choice for the Brit to make.

Cigar Review: Perdomo 2, Limited Edition 2008, Maduro (Yellow Label)

Epicure, 5.5" x 54 ring gauge, $6.25
Perdomo originally released the 2 (Squared) line several years ago and it was not a big hit so they pulled it off the market to concentrate on other lines. In 2008, they re-released the Squared with an entirely new blend of all Nicaraguan filler and binder, and either a Natural Cameroon wrapper (red label) or a Maduro Nicaraguan wrapper (yellow label). On a recent trip to Murfreesboro, I stopped at The Humidor (right next door to and owned by Liquid Smoke) and picked up one of each; first up is the yellow labeled maduro.

This cigar is a very dark brown color with what I like to call a "soft" box press--the corners are more or less rounded and the sides are not perfectly flat. There are no prominent veins apparent but the stick feels a little bumpy and a little spongy, especially as you get closer to the foot--something to watch out for while trying to burn this thing. The aroma from the body is barnyard, while the foot is more cocoa and coffee. The prelight draw is very easy and has that same cocoa and coffee mix so frequently found in good Nicaraguan smokes.

The lighting is easy and I was greeted by billowing clouds of smoke--one of the most satisfying volumes of smoke I have had lately. The immediately flavors were of black coffee and black pepper. And those flavors continue to dominate throughout the first third.

In the second third, the Squared suddenly took on a roated nut flavor and the black pepper became stronger, leaving the coffee note to play third fiddle. I had to correct the burn a couple times as the cigar wanted to canoe and it did seem to pick up speed in burning as well--seems like that spongy feel I had earlier was a sign that the cigar was a little under-filled.

The last portion of this cigar featured a coffee note that came roaring back, again accented by pepper. I did have to continue correcting the burn, though, and it became too hot to hold a couple of times. Overall a very tasty smoke with a few annoying construction issues. It was medium-to-full in body the entire time and I would recommend it for anyone who likes what Nicaraguan cigars bring to the table.

Body: 7/10
Strength: 6/10
Complexity: 9/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1/2
Flavor: 4.5/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 8.5/10

CAO's Latest...

It's a box-set for cigar lovers...a veritable CAO greatest-hits package, complete with re-mixed versions of your favorites. I am talking, of course, of the CAO Cuban Press box that hit stores this week.

To start off...the packaging is something remarkable. I'm posting still pictures, but that doesn't really do it justice. Just watch the YouTube video.

This box comes with 12 cigars: 4 each of some of CAO's most popular lines, in a brand-new, special edition size: the Cuban Press. Their regular Box-Press shape is 5 x 50. These run 4.875 x 50, so just slightly shorter.

My obvious question was "what is a Cuban Press?" Smart guy at the cigar store last night said "They replace 'Box' with 'Cuban' and put it in a fancy package." If that were all it was, it honestly wouldn't bother me much because I love the CAO Box-Presses (Brazilia and MX2, especially). The reality is spelled out on the packaging.

"A trunk press is constructed of wood and consists of a series of 10 selves, each holding 20-25 cigars. The press is closed once the cigars are in place, and clamps distribute pressure. This is a very delicate process. Great care must be taken to avoid damaging the wrappers. The clamps are released after 10-12 hours, and each cigar is turned. Pressure is then applied to the other side for an equal amount of time. The end result is a highly pronounced boxy-square shape to the cigar.

In standard box-pressing, round cigars are packed tightly into boxes to conform the cigar's shape to that of the box, resulting in a "pressed" shape somewhere between a cigar and a square. The old world trunk press is a far more elaborate and time-consuming method, and results in a more pronounced square shape to the cigar."

So, it's not exactly a box-press, but it kind of is the same idea.

One thing to steel yourself for here is the price. I paid $72 here in East Tennessee. That works out to about $6 per stick, which is how I justified it (CAO Box-Press Brazilias run about $7.50 here). The price you pay is actually quite good, but you are buying a lot at one time, so it hits the pocketbook.

What do they taste like? That will be part of the fun...I'll start smoking them soon here and I'll review each one in its turn. Brazilia. Italia. MX2. LX2. Sounds like a great weekend activity!

Cigar Website Review: Rocky Patel

Last month, I took a look at the CAO website and declared it how Flash-oriented websites should be done. Today's review is of the Rocky Patel website and is a prime example of why I passionately hate Flash-oriented websites almost all the time.

When you click onto Rocky Patel.com for the first time, depending on the speed of your connection, you might want to just leave the room and make yourself a sandwich...or smoke a Presidente-sized cigar...or both. I am relegated to DSL, broadband internet although not the fastest variety, and this page took over 60 seconds to load. Get used to seeing the tobacco plant "loading" icon on this site...you will see it a lot. After the icon finally disappears, you are greeted by an animated Rocky Patel logo with smoke drifting up behind it. There's also some annoying Cuban-style music playing and no way to turn it off or down without using your computer's main volume controls. Then you must still click through to "Enter Site."

Next you visit the real "Home" page, which took another 15 seconds to load, at which time I was greeted by a stuttering video of Rocky walking through a tobacco field talking. "I promise you that nobody will work harder to give you a quality cigar." or something like that. I wish someone had worked just a little bit on trying to make the website a better experience. At least on this page the music can be turned off or down...check that, you can turn the "sound" off or down, which not only mutes the music, but Rocky's speech, too. So in order to hear what Rocky says, you have to listen to the music whether you like it or not.

Most important on any cigar manufacturer's website is the "Products" page. Clicking on a cigar in this area of the RP site starts off another 5 second wait while that page loads. Looks like Rocky is just in love with the sound of his own voice and has to have a video introduction of each and every cigar. You know, I really don't want to see and hear Rocky talk on every single page; he can be interesting, but here he mostly isn't. What I really want is an easy-to-use, informative site about the stogies that he makes.

Unfortunately, there are vast gaps in the knowledge presented on products Rocky Patel makes. It seems like this site has hardly been touched in the last two years. There is a page for the Decade, but no mention whatsoever of the lancero under the size chart. The Renaissance has a page, but Rocky apparently has not had time to film a video for it (a relief, actually, but notable because it is missing), and the title on the page calls it the "Ren Stick" for no apparent reason--I've never heard it referred to in that way anywhere else. The Vintage 1999 is there and he shot a video for it, but there is no mention anywhere on the site of his Seasonal Blend program that has been going on for over a year now. And there is no mention anywhere of the vast number of Rocky Patel sticks that seem to only be available through mail order/online vendors. If these sticks are good enough to carry his name, shouldn't they be represented on his website?

The calendar of events was also strange. For each day, they list the total number of events. When you click on "4 Events" you will see a list of those four events. I checked the calendar for July 25 and saw immediately a big problem: no listing for the event at Burns Tobacconist in Chattanooga--an event where Rocky Patel himself is going to be appearing.

When I first looked at this site a few months ago, there was an option to click on an "HTML version" of the site, but when you did it said "Under Construction." Fortunately, that portion of the site has now been at least partially completed and you can view the product line in a fast-loading HTML page. Most of the rest of the HTML site is still not finished, though. I have limited web design skills, but I could have finished the HTML site by now.

All-in-all, this site is a major disappointment. From long load times to very incomplete product information and self-aggrandizing by the owner of the company, I just can't find much to recommend here. I'm giving it a D+ at this point, but that's only because part of the HTML site is done; without that slight improvement, the grade would be even lower.

Grade: D+

Friday Funnies: Chad Vader

Classic comedy, courtesy of YouTube:

Your Honor, I'll Plead the Tenth

The Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution simply states:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Alaska governor (for the next week, anyway), Sarah Palin, recently signed a bill passed unanimously by both houses of her state's legislature declaring Alaska's sovereignty under the 10th Amendment. In doing so, they were the latest of 37 states to pass such a bill. Palin and Phil Bredesen, surprisingly conservative Democrat governor of Tennessee, are the only governors in the country with the guts to pen their own names to these resolutions.

It is plain that the people of this country are already over B. Hussein Obama and the "Hope" and "Change" he has brought the last six months. A severe case of buyer's remorse has set in and I think the most likely next Constitutional Amendment will be the power to recall a sitting President...I can hope, anyway.

Cigar Review: Villiger 1888

Short Robusto, 4" x 50 ring gauge, approx. $9
Vern introduced me to Villiger cigars several years ago--you know, those dry-cured square things that come in packs of 8 or 10? They are pretty good for dry-cures and economical, but I never gave them much thought. That meant I was very surprised to learn earlier this year that the Villiger company was introducing a hand-made, premium cigar to the American market: the 1888. This cigar commemorates the year the company was founded by Jean Villiger in Pfeffikon in the Canton of Lucerne.

I selected a "Short Robusto" size for my initiation into Villiger's finer cigars and it measures 102mm x 19.8mm according to their website--what the...cigar sizes in metric? Will someone hand them a real ruler and a ring gauge chart, please? A source on the internet says this is 4" x 50 ring and I'll buy that. The blend is undisclosed and the wrapper is an Ecuadorian Connecticut. The wrapper is not an even color, giving it a somewhat "barber pole" appearance. It is lightly veinged, though, with an alfalfa aroma. There's more of that hay-like aroma coming from the foot.

Prelight draw had a sweet flavor to it--almost hay-like but with some honey or molasses. The draw was excellent, just a little firmness to draw against. At the outset the smoke was thick and creamy with nutty/bready flavor. When smoking something you have never had before, sometimes it is hard to know what to expect and that was what I was experiencing here. I was not sure what to expect, but so far it was surprisingly pleasant. Initial impressions of body were that it fell into the lighter side of medium.

A third through this small cigar, I realized what it reminded me--a Villiger...the dry-cured kind. Both have that strongly nutty flavor and aroma that is nice if not completely expected. The construction so far was fantastic, a perfect burn line and a perfect cone after tapping ash.

During the second third, the flavor turned more muddy with more of the bready notes coming through as well. This was not a great flavor change for this cigar--it turned a cigar that I already was not in love with into the category of "I'd rather smoke something else" but it did not make me want to abadon it yet.

The final third started to get bitter and a little sour and then...I just let it go out. Really, there's not enough time in the world to smoke cigars you are not enjoying and this is one of those for me. Sorry to say, I did not enjoy the 1888 and cannot recommend it.

Body: 4/10
Strength: 4/10
Complexity: 6/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 1.5/2
Construction: 2/2
Flavor: 1.5/5
Value: 0/1
Total: 5/10

Conservatives Kicked Out

A kiosk called "Free Market Warrior" is being evicted from a Concord, North Carolina mall at the end of this month. They specialize in conservative paraphernalia, including bumper stickers reading "Impeach Obama" and "Work Harder--Obama Needs The Money," and allegedly less politically-correct items like confederate flags. I say "allegedly" because when I checked their eBay store, there was nothing of the sort.

The mall in question is owned by Simon Properties. If you would like to vote with your pocketbook by participating in a boycott of their malls, find the closest ones at www.simon.com. In Southern California, the Brea Mall, Westminster Mall, Del Amo Fashion Center, The Block at Orange, Ontario Mills, The Shops at Mission Viejo, and the Laguna Hills Mall are all Simon-owned. In the Nashville-area, Opry Mills is their only property. In East Tennessee, they own Crossville Outlet Center, West Town Mall, Knoxville Center, and Knoxville Commons.

5 More TV Shows: Dirty Jobs

Dirty Jobs (Discovery)
Since 2005, Mike Rowe has been celebrating the jobs of the common man that are filthy and disgusting, but which make our lives a little easier because we do not have to perform those tasks ourselves.

From hot tar roofer to chimney sweep, avian vomitologist to casino food recycler, Rowe has found a constant stream of the worst jobs in America and has run across some pretty nice people that do them.

My personal worst was early in the first season when he worked with a disaster/hazmat cleanup crew in Queens, New York, to clean up the basement of a home where the toilet had not only backed up and run over, but had seemingly exploded under the pressure of a neighborhood-wide backup. There was sludge (polite term for fecal matter) and water damage throughout the entire basement and the house could not be inhabited until the entire mess was cleaned up. I did well until they got to the epicenter of the disaster, started scraping the mess from the toilet in question and I had to change the channel or risk losing my dinner. It takes a lot for me to feel ill--I don't gross-out easily--but this tipped the scale even for me.

Mike Rowe is a genial host with an easygoing manner who likes to have fun on the job, tends to slow down the process of any job, and begins to whine a bit when a job is particularly bad. Take the good and bad together and you get a great show idea with a great representative of the common man. Long live Mike Rowe! Long live Dirty Jobs!

Another Theme Month...

After having a ton of fun with CAO Month in June, I had already decided to have another "Brand Theme" month for October (La Flor Dominicana will be featured all month long...and boy, am I looking forward to all those tasty sticks I've been hoarding for those reviews!).

As I was putting August together, I discovered that I had tons of cigar reviews on hand, regular and "Cigars for the Recession," as well as plans to review a bunch of cigar manufacturer websites. Then I noticed that I had very little of anything else planned for the entire month--basically, one music review for a CD that just showed up yesterday. So, I made an executive decision (I can do that...I am presently the one-and-only executive decision-maker for this site)...August will be "Cigar Month." There are a total of 16 cigar reviews planned and 4 cigar websites that will get looked at. I have nothing whatsoever on the schedule for "pop culture" for the entire month. So basically, lots and lots and lots of cigars...and I'm not complaining about it, either!!!

Looking forward, there will be some more balance during the month of September. I do have that music review scheduled, as well as two book reviews, and the first spirits review in many, many moons (I don't think I've actually done one on this iteration of the Tiki Bar Online blog). September will see plenty of cigars, too, as I am going to look at some other cigars I have had sitting in my humidor since last summer as well as a few more bargains.

Cigar Review: Camacho Connecticut

Toro, 6" x 50 ring gauge, $5.90
I should get one thing out of the way up front: I have never been a fan of Camacho cigars. I have not smoked a lot of them, but of the ones I have had, the Triple Maduro was all punch, no flavor, the Scorpion was a great $8 stick (that costs $14), and their regular lines have just been lackluster. But I keep hearing folks rave about them, so I am willing to give the company another chance to impress, especially on a brand new stick. I have committed that one day in the not too distant future I will give the Triple Maduro a second chance, but today I am smoking their newest offering: the Camacho Connecticut.

Strange fact: the Connecticut does not actually have any tobacco from Connecticut in it. It features Honduran and Dominican filler, a Honduran binder, and an Ecuadorian Connecticut-seed wrapper. This is becoming a pet peeve of mine (and I've got so many I could start a peeve farm): it may be acceptable in the cigar industry to call this a Connecticut wrapper, but to me it feels disingenuous--kind of like saying a Dodge truck is American when it is, in fact, built in Mexico. The wrapper is not completely flawless on this cigar (there are a couple spots of green coloration), but it is very nice for the price point. The wrap is nicely done with a very nice triple cap; there is moderate veininess. The aroma from the body was mild and hay-like. From the foot there was a stronger aroma with notes of cocoa, coffee, and alfalfa. The prelight draw was very easy and features a sweet, light mocha flavor while leaving just a bit of spicy tingle on the lips. Upon lighting, my initial impression was of creamy coffee; there was some sweetness and a little pepper on the finish.

During the first third, this cigar was as creamy and smooth as I would have hoped. It went great with my morning coffee and that black pepper on the finish was a great complement to the creaminess. Hey, look at that--I was really enjoying a Camacho!!! The one quibble I had at this point is that the ash was quite flaky and tended to crumble after a quarter-inch or so, mandating that I tap off at no more than half an inch or risk wearing it.

In the second thrid, the creaminess persisted and the spice faded, but a nuttiness moved in to take its place. It was still holding up as a great cigar--very mild, but very flavorful.

The last third of this stick continued to surprise. The flavors got more earthy and had a stronger black coffee note while the smoke still had a creamy aspect to it. Overall, a great cigar that progressed from mild up to almost medium in body as you smoked. This was easily the best experience I have had with a Camacho and this cigar is an easy one to recommend to anyone for a morning cigar with coffee.

Body: 3/10
Strength: 4/10
Complexity: 8/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1.5/2
Flavor: 4.5/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 9/10

Should I Feel Differently?

Ancient newsman Walter Cronkite died the other day. Somehow, I don't even feel as bad as when Michael Jackson died. Jackson was a man of unbelievable talent who had let that talent wither and die over the last 20 years or so, but at least he had a good reason for his weird-ness: his father was apparently some kind of monster and the older brothers did not treat him all that well either. It certainly does not excuse some of what he did, but it does make you understand better the self-mutilation through plastic surgery and the extreme reclusiveness.

Cronkite, on the other hand, was the "most trusted man in America" telling us "the way it is." But it turns out he was frequently making things up on about the same level as Michael Moore. I have known for a long time that he out-and-out lied about the Tet Offensive, a Vietnam War engagement that we actually won, but you can read more detail in this article at American Thinker.

It escapes me why this man is still so respected. At the time, there was no alternative media--the libs had control of everything. Today, despite what Janeane Garofalo thinks, the mainstream media is still quite liberal, but at least there is a balance with the likes of Bill O'Reilly (right-center) and Hannity (hard right) on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh on radio and Mark Levin monopolizing the top of the New York Times bestseller list. Now that we know the truth about this putz, why does anyone respect him anymore than they do Dan Rather?

5 More TV Shows: MonsterQuest

MonsterQuest (History Channel)
Get it out of your system...laugh...yes, I watch Monster Quest...okay, laugh it up, but I'll be the one laughing when Bigfoot attacks and I know how to deal with him!

Each week a new episode of MonsterQuest comes on, I have to take it with a grain of salt. In 3 seasons, they have yet to actually find a monster or even any hard evidence of one. From a believability standpoint, it makes Man vs Wild look like high art and any Michael Moore film seem like it must have been written by the hand of God himself.

And yet, there's something I really enjoy about watching a bunch of crytozoologists traipse through the forest, setting up camera-traps, using heavy speakers to call-blast, and in the end come up with nothing but sore backs and wounded egos. Part of me is still aligned with Fox Mulder: I Want To Believe!

I want to believe that there is a Sasquatch, a Loch Ness monster, a Jersey Devil, a Lake Demon, and a Chupacabra...okay, maybe not a Chupacabra...that's just ridiculous! And to tell the truth, after all the evidence presented in last week's episode, "Critical Evidence" (a close look at the best evidence about Sasquatch)...I do believe. Maybe not in Bigfoot, but I do think there is something out there we haven't quite figured out yet. I doubt it's a great ape and I think many of the sightings are mistaken-identity, but I think it's likely that there is something stalking the deeply forested areas of North America and Asia. Across centuries and geographic distance, it has been described as large, humanoid and very hairy...and I don't think it's just a hippie who never came down from a peyote trip.

I do hope that someday the hapless searchers from Monster Quest find something. It does seem like they're wasting a lot of time in the woods (and other remote locales) at the moment. I've got a high threshhold for this type of television, but even I will get bored if they don't find some kind of monster soon. In the meantime, watch it and laugh...if you take it as comedy it's a wonderful show.

Ponder this one...

Our illustrious President, B. Hussein Obama, issued yet another apology for a former U.S. policy today, saying that America is "sorry" for the pain and suffering caused by slavery. That got me to thinking...and we know how dangerous that is.

Fact: Black Africans were sold into the hands of evil White Europeans to be enslaved. They were captured and sold by other Black Africans because the White Europeans could not survive long in the interior of Africa at the time because of various diseases that ravaged them. Therefore, slavery of Black Africans could not have existed without Black Africans any more than it could have existed without White Europeans.

Fact: The Muslim world also participated in the slave trade of Black Africans. In fact, they began trafficking in Black African slaves sooner than White Europeans did and kept at it long after White European civilizations stopped the practice. Furthermore, the Muslims were, by-and-large, more cruel to their Black African slaves, marching them across searing deserts from their homelands to their owners' homelands and castrating them before they were put into service as slaves. White European slaveowners mostly did not castrate their slaves, because it was a "free" source of new slaves, but this also had the effect of perpetuating the black race in countries where they were forced into labor; there is little to no free black population in the Arab Muslim world, at least partly because they were never allowed to reproduce.

Fact, President Obama does not have "slave blood" running through his veins (as opined by Al Sharpton or some other "black leader"). He is the son of a free Black African who also happened to be Muslim.

Fact, First Lady Michelle Obama is reputed to have descended from slaves.

It is reasonable to believe that B. Hussein Obama is descended from those tribes of Black Africans who made war to enslave and sell other Black Africans into the hands of White Europeans. He is also descended from a Muslim culture that approved (approves?) of the slavery of Black Africans.

All this leads to one very difficult question: If for some God-forsaken reason, the U.S. Congress ever awards "reparations" to descendents of slave-owners, should Barack have to pay reparations to Michelle?

Friday Funnies: Redneck Bumper Stickers

Cigars for the Recession: Gurkha Class Regent Nepalese Warrior

Toro, 6" x 52 ring gauge, approx. $3.50/stick
Gurkha is commonly known for making very expensive cigars whose value is questioned by many cigar smokers. The Class Regent series, though, breaks this tradition with style. The Regents are made in conjunction with the Torano company and can often be found for bargain prices on Cigar Bid. The filler is Dominican and Nicaraguan, the binder is Indonesian, and the Nepalese Warrior uses a Cameroon wrapper.

For a cheap smoke, this cigar exudes class right from the beginning--the visible elements of the construction are very nicely done, the wrapper has a velvety feel and the aromas are rich with chicken coop and cocoa. One word of caution: the Cameroon wrapper tends to be fairly fragile; I've had several split at the head while cutting and the one I smoked for this review was one of them. It ultimately did not affect the performance this time, but it has in the past.

The cigar started with a characteristic Cameroon sweetness and a chocolate undertone. The smoke was smooth but somewhat thin at first. The draw was good but not great. Both of these problems cleared up by the end of the first third and I was easily able to blow smoke rings with the increased volume.

Throughout the second third, the Nepalese Warrior stayed flavorful and produced plenty of smoke. The draw remained very good and the flavor had notes of black coffee and roasted nuts.

Overall, this Gurkha was a very pleasant, middle-of-the-road cigar. It does not fall into the category of "special occasion" smoke that many Gurkhas do, but neither is it a cigar that you would ignore while concentrating on something else. It is medium-bodied with a good flavor and decent amount of complexity for the bargain pricetag.

Grade - A

Stupid Stupid Stupid

It takes a lot for something that crawls out of Joe Biden's pie-hole surprises me with its sheer idiocy, but this may be the top of the heap:

At an AARP town hall meeting today, VP (Very Puerile?) Biden said, "We have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt."

What!?!

So our government run medical care, Medicare and Medicaid, is going bankrupt faster than originally believed, but instead of cutting costs and maximizing efficiency, we need to spend more money? What school of economics did this utter cretin graduate from? Any idiot knows that is not the way to fiscal solvency, but apparently not everyone in the White House rises to the level of idiot!

The real truth of the matter, though, is that Biden and Obama and Pelosi and Reid and Soros have been lying to you all along. As any Canadian knows, government-run health care is not free or easy. Ten hour waits for simple antibiotics; 2 to 3 year waiting lists for a family doctor; and $900 "private clinic" appointments when you just can't wait for Big Daddy Government to cure your ills--these are the things waiting for you if the leftist Commie libs have their way. They aren't trying to save you; they aren't trying to help you. They are trying to control you. It is in their DNA; it's what they do.

So, Biden comes out with an incredibly idiotic "gaffe" or he is looking old people (AARP, remember?) right in the face and lying to them. But the American voters put Obama/Biden in office along with a majority of liberals in Congress and the Senate. Kind of makes the average American voter sound pretty stupid, doesn't it?

Cigar Review: Rocky Patel Spring Collection 2009

Robusto, 5" x 50 ring gauge, $7.80
Rocky Patel wraps up his first year of seasonal blends with the Spring Collection 2009. This cigar is composed of Nicaraguan filler with a Pennsylvania Broadleaf binder (don't hear of that tobacco-growing region much!) and a Sumatran wrapper. This review is not scheduled to publish until long into the summer, but I smoked it just a couple weeks before spring ended, so I made it in under the deadline. The seasonal blends so far have been a hit-and-miss affair, but mostly misses--with the Winter blend being the only one I have smoked more than once. How will this season stack up?

The appearance of the Spring Collection is very nice. The Sumatran wrapper is a medium-to-dark brown with little to no oily sheen. There is light veining, but nothing that detracts from the appearance. The aroma from the body of the stick is faintly cocoa, while the foot is rich with dark chocolate. The banding is nice, with a green and gold color scheme to go with the Spring theme; the design of the banding could be better, though, as the year "2009" is almost unreadable in black on green. The prelight draw was free with just a bit of coffee flavor along with some citrus and a little bit of spice.

Right off the bat there was some spice in this cigar. Often lately, much of the "spice" I seem to get in cigars is of a black pepper nature, but this was different--much more like a chili pepper. Also, there was a citrusy tang that was quite unusual and pretty nice. Through the first third this continued, with that citrus flavor morphing into a more grassy characteristic. The draw was flawless, but the burn did have to be corrected once.

I did not have to correct any other burn issues during the second third, but the flavor did deteriorate somewhat. It became more grassy and the spice went away completely.

In the final analysis: another Rocky Patel seasonal blend and another "swing-and-a-miss." The flavors in the last third were still grassy with a woody aspect creeping in as well, but generally it just bored me. Adding to my displeasure, the wrapper split about a quarter inch below the head and the whole thing threatened to unravel on me. While not a bad cigar, the Spring Collection did not rise to the level of "really good," much less "great." I would recommend ignoring this one--I finished off the evening by lighting up something else with more character and flavor.

Body: 6/10
Strength: 5/10
Complexity: 4/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1/2
Flavor: 2.5/5
Value: 0/1
Total 4.5/10

5 More TV Shows: Bizarre Foods

Bizarre Foods (Travel Channel)
If you are looking for tasty morsels fit for human consumption, you may as well just keep moving. Andrew Zimmern, the host for this show, is a New York-born Jewish chef who has taken to eating the most un-kosher of foods. For Bizarre Foods, he travels the world to sample the cuisine that is common and sometimes necessary for survival.

In the nearly 50 shows spread over 4 seasons, we have seen him down Balut eggs in the Philippines, tarantula pops in New Jersey, the beating heart of a cobra in Vietnam, bull penis soup in Bolivia, and pit viper ice cream in Japan. About the only things I can remember him not being able to eat were durian fruit in Malaysia, stinky tofu in Taiwan, and khlia in Morocco.

It is always fun to see what Zimmern will eat, what he will like and what he won't quite like, but will try at least twice. It is a travel show, it is a cooking show, it is an adventure show. He has shown that you do not have to go far from your own backyard to find bizarre eating habits, featuring several locales here in the U.S.A.: New York City, Los Angeles, Minnesota, Maine, Gulf Coast, and Appalachia (including a segment in Sevierville, TN, not more than 2 hours from where I write this).

A fun show and one I can recommend to all but the squeamish.

Cigar Review: Nestor Miranda Special Selection

Robusto Grande, 5.5" x 54 ring gauge, Oscuro
The Miami Cigar Company is celebrating its 20th anniversary in 2009 and to mark the occasion they have released the Nestor Miranda Special Selection. Miranda is the director of Miami Cigar, makers of Don Lino and distributor for La Aurora. This cigar is yet another creation of the well-known Pepin Garcia but, other than that, information is difficult to come by as the manufacturer's website does not even state the sizes available. Cigars International states that it includes Nicaraguan and Costa Rican filler, but another sources says there may be some Honduran. In the long run, the origin of the tobacco is not as important as the flavor it delivers, but this lack of information is pretty disappointing.

The appearance is nice--a dark, muddy brown wrapper with a light oil sheen; several prominent veins given it a more rustic feel. The band is classy and just a little flashy, but it does not cover half of the cigar like some bands do these days. The aroma from the body was very faintly barnyard; from the foot I got cocoa and a touch of hay. The prelight draw was pretty much perfect and I got a dark chocolate flavor and spiciness on the lips.

Right off the bat, the smoke was heavy and slow-moving, and it left an oily feeling in my mouth--this is a cigar you might taste the next day...and maybe the day after that! The flavor of espresso was dominant, although there was also dark chocolate and a nice spicy finish. The coffee flavor of this cigar was actually more akin to Turkish coffee as the first third progressed--strong, a little bitter and a bit muddy. The spice ramped up considerably as well, which as a great accent. The one problem I got was a big canoe that had to be corrected. I had already read a couple comments from people that had smoked several of these each and they had similar problems at a rate of about 1 in 6 or 7 cigars.

The burn problems continued into the second third and had to be corrected again. The flavors became more earthy while still maintaining hints of coffee and plenty of spice. So far this was a full-bodied smoke.

The final third was more earthy and the spice mellowed out considerably. The construction issue persisted, though, which was really disappointing. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys a full-bodied smoke, but caution them about possible burn problems. Hopefully that issue can be corrected quickly as 1 out of 7 (or so) that don't burn right is simply too many. I have another of the oscuro in my box and hope to be able to report that the construction was better there. I also will be reviewing the corojo version soon.

Body: 9/10
Strength: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1/2
Flavor: 4.5/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 8.5/10

P.S. Since my first cigar for this review, I smoked a second and the burn line was virtually flawless. In this instance, my score for "Construction" would be 2/2, which would raise the rating for the Nestor Miranda Special Selection Oscuro to a 9.5.

5 More TV Shows: Good Eats

Good Eats (Food Network)
I don't remember exactly when I discovered Alton Brown and his bizarre creation that is Good Eats, but I am thankful I did discover it. I have always liked to cook, but rarely have the time. And I have pretty much always disliked (or hated) cooking shows. Most of the shows out there seem to be more about how to prepare one specific dish (30 Minute Meals) or Oprah with some cooking thrown in (Paula Deen). Good Eats is about food. Yes, Alton generally deals with one subject at a time, but he does not just teach you how to fix a dish. He explains where the dish originated, how it has evolved through history, and where it falls in the science world. Using all this information he not just puts together a recipe, but gives you information on how you can develop your own variations on the recipe, which I find to be much more valuable.

In each 30-minute episode, Alton runs through a few recipes based on the secret ingredient...oops, sorry, that's Iron Chef America, another show featuring Alton Brown. He gives Mr. Wizard-level explanations of the science behind the food, complete with object lessons that help you to remember the concepts. For example, a saturated fat is like a train with every car filled to capacity; in a mono-unsaturated fat, one of the cars has an open seat; in a poly-unsaturated fat, several cars have open seats.

This show taught me the secret to real fruitcake that people will actually eat (because it's actually good!) and gave me a killer chili recipe that I've made 3 or 4 times to fantastic result (but never strictly following what Alton said--there are always little variations in it).

Once you get your fill of Good Eats, I would recommend watching Alton's other ventures, especially the two seasons of Feasting on Asphalt--great show that really makes you want to take a cross-country road trip to see all the great eateries.

Gas Prices

I just ran across this story on CNN (the Communist News Network) about how gas prices plunged by 10 cents per gallon in the last two week.

Funny thing is that not two months ago, they were part of the same panic-striken media that was trying to introduce FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) about how quickly gas prices had risen in May and June (as a consequence of the rapid rise of oil by the barrel in the same timeframe). There were the annual calls for congressional hearings on gas prices, the threats to end speculation in the commodities trading field, and the expected interviews with consumers at gas stations as they wondered how they were going to keep affording to put gas in their cars.

Now that oil prices are plunging and taking gas prices with them, where are the stories about the commodities traders who lost their shirts making the wrong bets? Where are the stories of the gas station owners who typically make just a few cents per gallon profit and are seeing that profit dry up quickly, leading them to overprice the crap in their mini-marts ($5 for a 25-count bottle of aspirin, anyone)?

The reality is, for anyone who remembers past the last two news cycles, gas prices always, always, always increase in the run-up to the summer vacation season. Why? Higher demand has a great deal to do with it. With kids out of school, more people go on vacations, which uses more gas, which causes shorter supplies, which drives prices higher for the supplies that are there. I cannot remember a year in which gas prices did not increase during the late spring and I have been driving for over twenty years.

Another issue that I honestly do not understand is the refinery thing. Every year, the refineries have to have one blend for winter and another for summer. Every year it seems like every refinery closes at virtually the same time for "maintenance" and to switch over to the summer blend. What I don't get is why they all have to close at the same time. Why do there seem to be accidents and fires at refineries during this period every year? (We have been spared that this year, thankfully!)

The real culprit is supply and demand, though. And mark your calendars...next May, the price of gas will mysteriously begin to rise again!

Friday Funnies

From the home office, some humor from David Letterman (yes, occasionally, he is actually funny...but I think someone else writes these bits...)

Top 10 Low-Budget Summer Fun Tips
10. At your next barbecue, serve inexpensive and delicious charcoal.
9. Bathtub plus Alka-Seltzer equals Jacuzzi.
8. You can send kids free to Al Qaeda training camp.
7. Fake heart attack, ask ambulance to take you to hospital near Grand Canyon.
6. After right amount of tequila, any beach becomes a nude beach.
5. Light things that aren't firecrackers; yel "ka-pow!"
4. Make an inexpensive beach ball using a raccoon bladder.
3. Don't say "staycation" unless you want to be punched.
2. Go to Yankee Stadium and catch a ballgame for only $1,250.
1. Instead of expensive log flume rides, take a U.S. Airways flight into the Hudson.

Least Inspiration Patriotic Songs
"The Battle Hymn of Rose O'Donnell"
"God Bless America Except Delaware"
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around J. Edgar Hoover"
"Star-Spangled Danza"
"When Jar Jar Comes Marching Home"

Cigars for the Recession: Omar Ortez Honduran Maduro

Short Torpedo, 5" x 48 ring gauge, approx. $2.30 (when purchased in a box of 60)
The Omar Ortez line is a product of the Altadis conglomerate of cigar brands and by appearance and price, it is obviously designed to compete head-to-head with Rocky Patel's Edge. The Omar Ortez is sold in large wooden boxes of 60 sticks and features a small band on the foot, just like the Edge. This particular Ortez is called the Honduran Maduro, which is curious, because according to the Altadis website, it is a Nicaraguan puro.

The Omar Ortez is rough in appearnce, from its mottled, dark brown color to the lumpy, bumpy feel to several large, prominent veins. It's hard to complain too much about outward appearance, though, if the flavor is good, especially at this price point. The aromas from the stick were of barnyard, compost and manure. Even without a cello wrapper, there is a slightly oily feel.

Prelight draw brought flavors of chocolate and a sweet earthiness. After lighting, the cigar produced lots of smoke and the earthy flavor for dominant, along with a bit of a citrus tang on the finish. That faded quickly, though, leaving just a leathery and earthy flavor. That same flavor profile continued throughout and left the cigar feeling rather one-dimensional. Not bad, but not complex, either.

The ash fell off in neat half-inch chunks, not terribly long for a cigar that is billed as "long filler" so I have to guess that the long filler tobacco used is a lower grade. Other than that, the construction was very good with a great draw and even burn.

I can't say that this one would be a good relaxing smoke at the end of the day, but it might be fine if you wanted something to smoke while doing something else like mowing the lawn or playing golf. The price is right if you buy it in a large quantity, but I'm not sure if I could stand smoking a whole box of 60 myself.

Overall Grade: B

Cigar Review: Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur Legend

Challenger, 5.25" x 50 ring gauge
I have had a long-term affinity for General Cigar's Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur line of cigars. To the best of my memory, a "regular" Excalibur was my first cigar ever back in the summer of 2001 in San Luis Obispo. Those regular Excaliburs became my "go-to" stick for quite some time after that and I eventually tried the more full-bodied 1066 line and the mild Royal Sterling. I must say I really enjoyed the Hoyo de Tradicion when it came out a couple years back. The year 2008 seemed to be the year that the cigar giants, General and Altadis, woke up to discover that their constituency was moving upscale and away from the mostly mild, frequently uninteresting blends they were offering. That was the year that the Macanudo 1968, Romeo y Julieta Habana Reserve and La Gloria Cubana Artesanos de Miami all appeared, and that is when this latest Excalibur surfaced. The cigar is composed of Nicaraguan filler with binder and wrapper from Connecticut.

Although one website states the wrapper is a Connecticut shade, this is certainly darker than any shade-grown leaf I am used to. The wrapper is a medium-brown with darker shading around the veins. The veins are clearly visible, but--except for one prominent exception--they are not raised and lumpy to the touch. There is a light oily sheen on the wrapper as well. The aroma from the body is fairly muted, but I was able to pick up hints of alfalfa and barnyard; the foot had a more pronounced mocha aroma. I picked up the same on the prelight draw, although more on the chocolate side and less on the coffee.

The draw was firm at the beginning and the flavors were leather and cedar. There was also a fair bit of black pepper, especially on the finish. I eventually had to do some work to correct the draw and it helped quite a bit, although it ended up not fully opening until somewhere after the halfway point. I also had to make several corrections to the burn as it just did not want to burn straight. Through the first third, the Legend built in spiciness while maintaining the woody and leathery characteristics.

During the second third, the cigar got easier as the draw opened up. It remained peppery and I found that it would be in the low end of full in the body category. The leather and cedar notes mostly diminished to be replaced by a black coffee note.

Although it remained med-to-full in body, the Legend started showing some strength in the nicotine department during the final third--not an unwelcome amount, but definitely unexpected in the Excalibur line of cigars. There was also a tangy flavor that started to make itself known during the last portin. Overall, a worthwhile addition to the Excalibur lineup and one that I would recommend to those who say that all General Cigars offerings taste the same.

Body: 8/10
Strength: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 1/2
Flavor: 4/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 8/10

A Must Read

Combining the fanfare, spectacle and absurdity of the Michael Jackson funeral with the fortunes of the once-Golden State...this is a must-read!

Right Direction

While many Americans feel that the country is headed in the wrong direction (apparently the ouster of Bush and the Republicans did nothing to change that), at least one poll is headed in the right direction. Rasmussen Reports publishes a daily tracking poll that measures the people who "Strongly Approve" of the job the President is doing and offsets it with the people who "Strongly Disapprove." They call this the "Presidential Approval Index."

When President Obama was inaugurated, the poll showed a positive number that simply could not hold. Hell, even Osama bin Laden would get great positive numbers the day after being sworn in! The numbers closed up by the end of March, however, and flirted with negativity once at the end of May and throughout June. For the past week those numbers have been negative and today he hit a new low of -5. Those who strongly approve are 32 percent of the population; those who strongly disapprove are at 37 percent. The overall numbers are not much better for the Bam-ster, with 52 overall approval to 48 percent overall disapproval. The honeymoon is well and truly over.

What should be noted is that his approval to disapproval numbers have gotten progressively worse for him as he shows more and more of his progressive (read that "ultra-left") agenda. Should the Senate pass cap and trade in any form (widely held as the largest tax increase in the history of mankind), and should the Obamessiah sign it, I fully expect that he will be politically crucified in November 2010.

Another bright light in the report, is this:
Among all voters, Republicans now have a three-point edge on the Generic Congressional Ballot.

This is a direct reversal of what happened all last year. It may be too late to prevent serious damage from this Congress and President, but if the people can be kept awake long enough, we may be able to minimize the devastation in the mid-terms.

I hoped it would happen--I feared it would not--but Barack Obama is swiftly on his way to being the next Jimmy Carter: one who rides into office full of vain promises and overreaching zeal and self-destructs only to be ousted from office when the time comes for re-election. The American people seem to be waking up...now if only the residents of California would do the same! We can dream...after all, that is the state that once gave us Ronald Reagan (Ronaldus Magnus).

Aged: Nub Habano 466

Hard to believe it was a year ago (or there abouts) that I started my experiment in cigar aging. I had two fairly large humidors (along with a smaller desktop model that I ended up using for flavored sticks) and decided that one would be my "everyday" cigars and the other would be for "aging" cigars. I started building up my collection of aging sticks with purchases I made on the internet. I would buy a 5 pack, smoke 2 or 3 in the next week or two, and put the rest in the aging humidor where I would forget about them for at least a year. I put labels on the sticks so I would remember when I put them in.

Last night, I opened the first of my aged smokes, a Nub Habano first put down to age in July 2008. The aroma when I took off the cello wrapper was still very rich and strong--a whole lot of cocoa and coffee. The wrapper was slightly oily, especially to the touch. Everything looked in order, but the real proof was in the flavor department.

Upon lighting, I found that the Nub still had plenty of spice and that the flavors were predominantly of black coffee and black pepper. As I progressed, the spice held up very well and the flavor tended to go more in the leathery and nutty direction. There was still plenty of power in this rolled up bundle of tobacco leaves, too!

This cigar started life as a strong, spicy cigar and a year in storage has done nothing to minimize that. I do not know that I would characterize it as better than it was a year ago, but the extra year of age definitely did no harm. I have another Nub Habano from last July that I will let go for at least six more months and then there are some other Nubs of different varieties from later last year; I will be interested to see where any and all of those go as time marches on.

5 More TV Shows: Mythbusters

A couple months ago, I talked about 5 shows that were on permanent "record" on our DVR. I realized that all those shows seemed to be mainstream network shows (and almost all on Fox!), so I thought I would add 5 more shows on less-than-mainstream networks.

Mythbusters (Discovery Network)
It's really difficult to believe that this show is now in its seventh season. It seems only last year that we were watching them bust myths about vacuum toilets, lightening striking tongue piercings and escaping from Alcatraz. If for some reason, you have not gotten hooked on the wacky antics of Adam Savage and the deadpan earnestness of Jamie Hyneman, all I can say is...what are you thinking?

This is truly one of the most remarkable original shows created by a cable network. It is constantly original and fun to watch. We have watched Adam's beard get grayer, Jamie's mustache get "walrus-ier," and the procession of "sidekicks" that funneled through before they settled on the three seemingly permanent assistants: Tory Belleci, Kari Byron, and Grant Imahara.

The cast, overall, is very well-balanced. Adam boyish glee is offset by Jamie's stern, parent-like demeanor. Grant's carefully-crafted robots are balanced by Tory's rash desire to just "do something" (like the time he test a tazer on himself because he had forgotten how it felt). Kari is the only female on the show and by herself balances out all the rampant testosterone that could carry the show away, but she also likes it when they blow things up--a staple of the show.

To repeat...if you have not been watching, what were you thinking? I'm thinking you have a lot of catching up to do!

Cigar Review: Oliva Connecticut

Robusto, 5" x 50 ring gauge, approx. $4.50
With the success and acclaim of the full-force Serie V, Oliva has turned its attention toward creating something at the opposite end of the spectrum--a good quality mild cigar. The result is the Connecticut Reserve, a blend of Nicaraguan filler and binder with an Ecuadorian Connecticut shade wrapper (hey, the Oliva Connecticut doesn't have any parts from Connecticut--kind of like an "American" car built in another country, say, a Pontiac G8!). I will be the first to admit that I am partial to more full-bodied smokes, although I have friends whose tastes run even more to that end of the spectrum than mine. I have found that many affordable mild cigars just do not taste that good and man of the great nameplates that do deliver on flavor are ridiculously overpriced (yes, I'm talking about you, Davidoff!). There are exceptions, though, my favorite being the Nub Connecticut (coincidentally distributed by the Oliva company...hmm), which I have consistently called "the best mild cigar on the market." Will the Oliva Connecticut play in the same league?

To start with, this cigar is simply beautiful--an evenly-colored, flawless wrapper the color of coffee with cream. The one thing that would separate this from one of its very expensive brethren is that it is not perfectly smooth--there are a couple prominent veins that would not fly on a stick costing 3 to 4 times the price. The aroma from the body of the stick is that classic humidor smell that you get walking into a well-stocked shop. From the foot there is some sweetness, maybe a creamy coffee aroma. The prelight draw was easy and the flavor was slightly sweet and creamy with notes of hay. After lighting the flavor was light and creamy, more like a cafe au lait.

That creamy coffee flavor persisted in the first third--the creaminess was absolutely wonderful. There was occasionally a touch of spice on the finish, too, which only enhanced the experience. The retrohale was smooth as well, with a definite nuttiness to it. The draw was excellent and the smoke heavy and thick enough to blow easy smoke rings.

The second third saw the cigar move into a more nutty mode. Any lingering spice pretty much disappeared but the creamy sweetness stayed around to support the flavor of roasted nuts. So far this was a fairly mild smoke but with some potential for nicotine kick in larger sizes.

As the Oliva Connecticut winded down, the flavors evolved again, becoming stronger in the roasted nuts department and even picking up an earthy tone. There was no cafe au lait flavor to speak of left. Overall, this is a splended mild cigar. It has a ton of flavor and keeps your interest throughout. It would be perfect for a new smoker or anyone looking for a nice cigar to have in the early morning with a nice cup of coffee. This may now be the best mild stick available.

Body: 3/10
Strength: 4/10
Complexity: 8/10

AFP Scale:
Prelight: 2/2
Construction: 2/2
Flavor: 5/5
Value: 1/1
Total: 10/10

Album Review: Chickenfoot

From 1985 through 1995, Sammy Hagar served honorable duty as lead singer for Van Halen, producing what I believe to be the finest music in the band's history. After Sammy got kicked out (or quit, depending on who you believe), he went back to his solo career and has since put out 6 albums either as a strictly solo act or with "the Waboritas." In that same time, Van Halen has put out 1 new album and another greatest hits collection (for which Hagar was invited back for some new songs), invited David Lee Roth back for a 3rd go-around, and fired founding bassist, Michael Anthony, so Eddie's son could have a job. Time has not been a friend to the Van Halen family...

Sammy Hagar, on the other hand, is continuing to push the envelope of hard rock and party music and the latest example is his new band, Chickenfoot. The 'foot features Michael Anthony on bass and harmony vocals, immediately invoking the sound that VH had while Sammy led the band. On lead guitar is Joe Satriani, one of the most outrageously talented guitarists walking the planet; this is his first time playing full-time with a band and the results are as good as you would have hoped. Holding down the rhythm on drums is Chad Smith, formerly from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. As a band, this group sounds like...well, they sound like a bunch of bands...at one time like Van Halen...now like Led Zeppelin...bottom line, though, is that this album is hard rock (not heavy metal) with a party feel to it. It's good time music, mostly without much of a message, but that's okay--sometimes you just need to have fun and leave serious stuff behind.

The album starts off with "Avenida Revolucion," which does start things off on a semi-serious note, talking about the plight of Mexicans trying to come to American for a better life. But then the serious-train gets derailed with "Soap on a Rope," "Sexy Little Thing," and the first single "Oh Yeah." All these are memorable, sing-along songs that you will find yourself humming around the house.

"Learning to Fall" is the requisite Sammy Hagar tender ballad for the album and, as such, stands up pretty well to his other ballads, although it is far from his best. "Runnin' Out" and "Turnin' Left" have a little more political message without being preachy (and typical of the conservative-minded Hagar, if you think about the lyrics, they seem to be very critical of the current bunch of people in power). The one song that I am currently not crazy about is album-closer, "Future In The Past;" it's not a terrible song, just not that exciting.

If you liked Hagar-led Van Halen, you owe it to yourself to pick up this album, especially since VH is not likely to ever produce another studio album at the rate they are headed. Satch's guitar-playing is phenomenal, as always, and the rhythm section of Anthony and Smith is rock-solid.

Grade: A-

What's Been Happening at the Tiki Bar

With apologies to The Doc, here's what's been happening the last week or two...and what's coming up...

1. I grew up in Southern California and from the time I was little, only "Safe and Sane" fireworks were allowed there. By the time my wife and I escaped the People's Republic of Kalifornia, almost all cities in all counties had banned all fireworks. Here in Tennessee, some counties do ban the sale of fireworks, but that doesn't stop others from selling. Traveling south from Dayton, you reach the county line pretty quick, about 2 or 3 miles out of the city limit. Hamilton County (Chattanooga) does not allow the sale of fireworks. So there were no fewer than 6 fireworks tents set up on the roadside just north of the Rhea County line for the last couple weeks. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about (I never got the illegal fireworks from Mexico, either), so we spent about $40 on fireworks and had ourselves a show at my parents' house. Bottlerockets. Roman Candles. Saturn Missiles. Along with assorted fountains and some other items that were a lot of fun. And then my parents' neighbors! They apparently bought a mortar and were blowing off the big stuff right over our heads! Great 4th! Happy Independence Day!
2. I joined the Havana Room at Chattanooga Billiards Club/Burns Tobacconist a couple weeks ago. World class tobacco shop connected with a great pool hall, bar, and restaurant. I don't play pool much, but I might have to learn! Every Thursday is "Member Night" and they give our free cigars and run specials if they have a company rep there. The first two weeks I've gone I've had freebies from Kristoff and La Flor Dominicana. They also have free food, big screen TVs, and all kinds of other stuff. Anyone that comes to visit us here in East TN can plan on a trip to Burns and the Havana Room.
3. Speaking of visits, one of our oldest and dearest friends, Jim Varney, had an opportunity to drop by on Father's Day. Jim was passing through town with a truck full of something; he parked it at Wal Mart long enough for me to pick him up, bring him back to the house, and we smoked a couple stogies on the front porch on what turned out to be one of the hottest, most humid days of the year (90 degrees and about 75 percent humidity at 10:30 a.m.). It was a great time and we hope he is able to make it back through for a longer visit sometime soon.
4. Speaking of heat and humidity...the first couple weeks of June were truly spectacular...in a bad way. It was excessively hot (95 or above several days) and humid for about two weeks straight and we were afraid that all summer was going to be like that. Fortunately, near the 20th, it cooled off to the upper 80s and the humidity went way down (below 50 percent most days) and suddenly it was pleasant and seemed cool by comparison. It's humid again today, with the chance of thundershowers, but it's only supposed to rise to 83 degrees, so it should be a pretty nice day.
5. Another North/South All-Star Game program is in the bag. I delivered the finished product to the printer on Thursday, July 2. This is the 50th Annual North/South Game and will be held at LeBard Stadium at South Coast College in Costa Mesa, CA, this Friday, July 10. If you like football at all, you should go...you might be able to see the next Tony Gonzalez or DeShaun Foster before they make it big.
6. Coming up on the Tiki Bar: sometime this week or next, I will be starting "5 More TV Shows" focusing this time on some cable shows that are lots of fun. I have smoked a bevy of different cigars for reviews this month, including the Oliva Connecticut, Camacho Connecticut, Excalibur Legend, and Rocky Patel Spring Collection. I'm currently working on August cigar reviews; in that line-up I have the Nub Maduro, Camacho Triple Maduro, El Triunfador and CAO Six One Five. I had so much fun with CAO Month in June, that I have decided to declare October "LFD Month" and am in the process of lining up at least 10 (maybe more) La Flor Dominicana cigars to smoke and review. In the next couple weeks I'll be posting reviews of the new albums by Chickenfoot and Elvis Costello.
7. Finally, for those in California, please remember to put on your calendar that I will be visiting the Formerly-Golden State (they had their credit rating reduced!) from August 21 to 24. Most of Friday the 21st and Monday the 24th will be taken up with traveling to and from California; Sunday will be almost completely monopolized by the work that I'm coming out to do; so the main smoking event is being planned for Saturday, August 22. Tentative plans are to meet at Taps sometime in the afternoon and stake a claim on a table (or tables) so there is plenty of room for everyone to come and go as they please. If anything changes, I'll let you know--or you can let me know!!!

So, that's it for this month's installment of "What's Been Happening at the Tiki Bar!"

Friday Funnies: Michael Jackson Jokes

How long do you have to wait before telling jokes about a dead celebrity? Screw it! Only gone a week and I'm repeating jokes heard on the internet:

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Why did MJ like twenty eight year olds?
Because there are twenty of them!!!

How did MJ pick his nose?
From a catalog.

Why did MJ place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.

Alright, that's enough for today...I'll leave MJ alone a while longer...got it out of my system...Anyway, something to think about while watching "24 hours news channels running nothing but Billy Mays infomercials during Michael Jackson tributes!"